Has the joy, intimacy, and friendship quietly—or suddenly—slipped away from your relationship? Have daily stresses of work and family crowded out your time as a couple? Are you concerned that your marriage is on the verge of breaking up?
Couples counseling is effective in helping people learn how to come together for a stronger relationship. Or in cases where a breakup is inevitable, counseling can help reduce the pain and conflict associated with most divorces.
I use Gottman techniques to help you reconnect.
I use practical tools based in research to help couples save their marriages. As an objective party, I can be empathetic to both of you and help you see through the clutter.
The couples counseling techniques that I use help you start dealing with the root of your problems. In fact, therapy sometimes reveals underlying problems such as anxiety or depression that can be treated. Often people are relieved to learn that their partner did not “fall out of love with them,” but simply has issues that can be treated with therapy.
“Everyone Knows” Communication is Key.
No one ever makes an appointment to see a therapist for “communication counseling.” My clients may come in for feelings of sadness, or of feeling trapped and abandoned at the same time.
However, most couples’ issues have a component of neglected communication skills. These are little things that may have come naturally when they first got together and which are vital in keeping intimacy vibrant.
Practical communication techniques include:
Daily showing of appreciation
Sometimes people tend to forget these skills gradually. Other times, they may dramatically stop doing these things for each other.
One goal of therapy is to restore—or to teach for the very first time—the communication skills needed to build and strengthen a relationship. These skills lead the way to improved respect, intimacy, and enjoyment of life as a couple.
Infidelity is Not Always About the New Lover
Infidelity is always a sign that a relationship has lost its intimacy, its specialness. It is a sign that the couple has lost their dependence upon each other.
Note the difference between dependency and co-dependency. Here are examples of things partners might say to each other: Co-dependent: “I can’t make a decision without you.” Dependent: “I’d love your input into my decision.”
Co-dependent: “I can’t bear the thought of you going to the doctor without me.”
Dependent: “I know you don’t need me to accompany you to an import medical appointment, but I want to go with you.”
Therapists can provide a fresh perspective on a difficult problem or point you in the direction of a solution. The benefits you obtain from therapy depend on how well you use the process and put into practice what you learn.
Some of the benefits available from therapy include:
Attaining a better understanding of yourself, your goals and values
Developing skills for improving your relationships
Finding resolution to the issues or concerns that led you to seek therapy
Learning new ways to cope with stress and anxiety
Managing anger, grief, depression, and other emotional pressures
Improving communications and listening skills
Changing old behavior patterns and developing new ones
Discovering new ways to solve problems in your family or marriage
Improving your self-esteem and boosting self-confidence